Scarier Than Halloween
What if I fail? That is one of my biggest fears in life. (I am also really scared of clowns, but that is for another post😉 ).
Failure. At various times of my life I have worried about just about everything.
I worried about being a lousy Mom.
Being a lousy wife.
Whether or not I was a lousy accountant.
There is so much that I can do badly, it actually is a wonder I try anything at all.
Starting a business was scary too. Even worst than other things because if I fail, it could prove out that I really am lousy at other things:
We could lose our home.
My children might realize that I am really not that great.
My husband might learn that I really can’t do ANYTHING that I put my mind to.
I might fail at everything with just one decision. To try.
If you are like me, and you are thinking about starting something new (business, hobby, weight loss, relationship), I am here to tell you that it is your fear that will push you to something great.
That anxiety that is building in the pit of your stomach feels awful because you need motivation. It feels uncertain because if it felt easy you wouldn’t pay attention. You need to check to make sure you know what you want to achieve.
So, on this Halloween, I realized that where I have been successful, I learned the tricks on October 31. I practiced them each year while I was growing up. And now I do it daily.
Put On Your Mask
And this isn't your COVID face mask. This is your confidence face. Just because you feel like there is something to fear -- act like the person who doesn't fear the failure.
I am not suggesting that you ignore your mental health. You need to use your support group (family, friends etc...) to work through your worries. What I am suggesting is that you not let it stop you.
Looking the part is the first step to getting the part.
Unlike Halloween, you have the real potential to become what you are projecting you are. Imagine your child could BECOME whatever their costume let them pretend they are. Our world would be full of Superheroes and Disney princesses! I would wager we would see a lot fewer zombies, witches, ghosts and vampires. But you have that ability. You can put on the mask of confidence. Wear it long enough. It will become your face.
Go Out In The Dark Even Though You May Face Scary Things
We let our children go out into the cold and dark and go door to door looking for candy. Say that again - we let our children go out into the cold and dark and go door to door looking for candy. If it was May 12th the world would tell you that you were crazy. But we let them do it on October 31 because there is a reward.
So what is the lesson? If there is something you want. If there is a reward then you can assess the risks and face your fears. You don't let the kids just dive into their treats without checking it. So, you can take that step into the dark unknown. You can risk running into that scary costume (for me it is a clown) and try for your reward. And if you come home with bags and bags of treats, use your logic and check things out before you dive in. Some of the treats may have to get set aside, just to be safe. You may have to pace yourself so that you don't burn through your treats in one sitting. But, you have the potential to be enjoying those treats long after Halloween is over. Same is true of anything new. Don't let fear stop you. Push through it. The reward will be worth it.
In my life I have learned some things. These truths, I have laid awake at night convincing myself so that I don't let my own fears and anxieties stop me from living. I share them with you so that you too may find a way to put on your mask and face the dark.
About parenting: It is perfectly normal to worry about being a bad parent. In fact that is what makes you a great parent. I am very confident that the people who are beating their children never worry about whether they are doing the right thing.
About friendship: In life, our friends all add up to $1.00. You can have 100 pennies or you can have 4 quarters. I, personally, like to have a small number of friends, each with high value.
About trying: (This is what I tell myself regularly about my business). Everyone else thinks you can do it. Start being YOUR OWN biggest fan. Love yourself enough to give yourself the same encouragement you give your kids.
Hoping that everyone has a safe and happy Hallowe'en. And, as my children have told me, don't forget, if you can't get the candy for free tonight, it will all be on sale tomorrow and we can get whatever we want.